Up: [[Calling]] Created: 2022-02-08 The ancient Greek philosopher, Plotinus, would tell us that our daimon selected our parents which means, James Hillman says, *Their union results from your necessity— and not the other way around.* > [!user] [[James Hillman]], *The Soul’s Code* , p. 64 That’s a mind blowing idea. So often people say that they wouldn’t be here if not for their parents meeting. But Plotinus says our parents wouldn’t be together if our [[Daimon]] hadn’t selected them to create us. And that our parents are obligated to live out their own daimons so that our daimon can fully have its life. Parents, says Hillman, also have the responsibility to nourish their child’s imagination. They do this in a few ways. One is by having a fantasy for that child. Hillman says it’s stupid for parents to be too neutral with their kids, that children refine their visions for themselves by having familial ideas and expectations to push against. They can’t do that when family members spend all their time parroting *I love you* and soothing their kids with inanities like *I’m sure you’ll succeed at whatever you decide to do.* This reminds me of, quite unfortunately, the way parenting seems to be done today. Kids are growing up with nothing to push against, nothing much that is meaningful to reflect on, just mushy platitudes and ‘I love you’s’ in every conversation. Admittedly, there are times when I am envious hearing how some parents talk to their kids. I’ve always imagined that it must give the kids a great sense of security and value. But on the other side, the words, when heard often enough, seem empty, a ridiculous affectation. Another important action for parents is to recognize that they can’t be mentors for their children because they are too close, too invested in their kids to be able to really see them as unique human beings. Instead, parents need to make sure there are people, often teachers, or even books, in their child’s life that can serve that function. A third important action is to allow and encourage a child in his or her obsessions, because obsessions or passions can give insight into calling. Alfred Adler talked about this idea too. He referred to passions as ‘guiding fictions’. > [!Orbit] [[David Whyte]] in *Crossing the Unknown Sea* > Each of us, somewhere in the biography of our childhood, remembers a moment where we felt a portion of the world calling and beckoning to us. (p. 65) That’s what an obsession does.