Up: [[Compulsion]] Created: 2025-07-09 Updated: 2026-04-02 Perfectionism isn’t all bad. Adaptive perfectionism is positive. It's when you are trying to align your inner and outer worlds, being true to the most authentic version of yourself. In contrast, maladaptive perfectionism is coming from a deficit mindset where you are trying to compensate for perceived flaws and can only feel "good enough" when you earn it and keep on earning it. Adaptive and maladaptive are context-dependent. If you’re a perfectionist, you inhabit both of these states at different times. ### Characteristics of Adaptive and Maladaptive Perfectionism | Adaptive | Maladaptive | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | ideals are meant to inspire | ideals are meant to be achieved | | pursue self-defined success | avoid failure | | validation mostly from self | looks for validation from others, but not reassured by it | | plays to win — efforts fuelled by optimism | plays to not lose — efforts fuelled by fear | | compulsive strivings are value driven and fulfilling | compulsive strivings are unhealthy, not fulfilling, can harm self or others | | responds to inner critic with compassion | responds to inner critic with shame or numbing out | | sets intentions (energy and purpose behind striving) and goals (what you’re striving for); winning can happen from day one because you can honour your intention | sets goals; winning can only happen on the day you achieve the goal | The way to be in adaptive, or healthy, perfectionism is to **consciously respond** to a situation, rather than, as in maladaptive or unhealthy perfectionism, unconsciously reacting to it. > [!user] Katherine Morgan Schafler, *The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control