Up: [[Emotions]]
Related: [[Values]]
Created: 2024-12-14
Updated: 2026-01-20
Without clear values, we have a tendency to default to boundary issues such as the following:
- trusting everyone/no one
- all or nothing beliefs or rules
- giving too much or nothing at all
- feeling guilty after saying ‘no’
- fearing other people’s reactions
- feeling surface with other people or closed off
- unsure of what I want or need
- seeking external validation
When we have healthy boundaries based on our values, we are able to:
- say “no” to demands on our personal time that don’t match our values
- separate our emotions from the emotions of other people
- speak up for ourselves, even during conflicts
### How to assert boundaries? 3Vs
1. Values — What matters most here? Do my actions align?
2. Voice — What will I say? How will I live out this value?
3. Validation — How can I validate myself afterwards?