Up: [[Difficult Times]] Related: [[O'Malley Moments]] Created: 2025-02-14 Updated: 2025-12-30 #### 1. In this moment, what am I experiencing? Variations — What is asking to be seen? What is happening in my body? What do I need to notice? What am I resisting? If the first question makes you angry because you want to yield to your compulsion, go to fourth question - What is the way through this? Then let that question go, allowing it to work for you. It doesn’t stop wave of compulsion but it will be shorter than usual because you’ll realize the compulsion isn’t helping you. #### 2. For this moment, can I let this be here? Variations — How can I give this space to be? Can I let myself be exactly as I am? Can I accept this as a part of me? Resisting only gives the compulsion more energy. If you can’t let it be, go back to the first question. That will help you realize that you’re resisting being present. Then ask the second question again. #### 3. In this moment, can I touch this with compassion? Variation — What do I need to love and accept about myself? If you can’t get here, imagine responding tenderly to a child who is experiencing what you are. #### 4. Right now, what do I truly need? Variations — What do I need to do or be that is for my highest good? What am I really hungry for? What is the wise choice here? How can I get out of my own way? Where is the humour in this? Just asking this question is enough. If there’s no answer, don’t try to figure one out. That just keeps you in your head. Trust that the answer has been set in motion. If , on the other hand, your answer is that you need whatever you’re feeling compulsive about, ask *For this moment, can I let this craving be?* If you can, take some deep breaths to ease the tightness inside and ask again, *What do I truly need?* ### Likely not all questions at once The questions are ordered by increasing awareness. It is very typical to live in one question at a time, especially the first one because that’s where you notice the sensation. With the second question, you stay present to what you are experiencing With the third question, you focus on accepting yourself. The fourth question is powerful once you are able to accept yourself with compassion and understanding. > [!user] Mary O’Malley, *The Gift of Our Compulsions*