Up: [[Emotions]] Created: 2024-12-14 Updated: 2026-01-19 In a course on empathic boundaries Karla McLaren, author of *The Language of Emotions*, proposed five different relational boundary conditions in response to the question, “Do you want to go to a movie?” - nonexistent - “I don’t care, whatever you want” - confusing - passive/aggressive - “You didn’t have time for me when I suggested a movie last week.” - clear - “I want to go to the movies.” - rigid - “We can only go to the movies if we eat something first.” - cruel - “I’ve got so much work to do, why would you even think I’ve got time to do something stupid like go to a movie?” I didn’t like the term ‘rigid’ for the fourth condition. It might be perceived as rigid by the other person, but I think it’s simply a clear boundary for the individual stating it. _____________ In another boundaries course, this time with art therapist, Rachel Rose, we identified a stressor we were experiencing in a relationship with someone. Then Rachel took us through a guided meditation where we first imagined a video camera was recording the stressor. What would it see? Then we went below the surface in the meditation and identified and named our feelings and thoughts related to the stressor. The next step was to imagine three boundary conditions for the situation. We sketched, wrote, and imagined what it would look like to revisit the stressor through each boundary condition: 1. Firm Walls - maybe a box 2. Middle Way - a circle 3. Unprotected - a bubble This was a very useful process..