Up: [[Emotions]] Course: Developing Empathic Boundaries with Karla McLaren for DEI Created: 2024-12-14 In this activity you’re setting a new boundary for yourself because the old one isn’t working. You need two sheets of paper. #### First Sheet On the top of the first sheet write a behaviour or situation that is unworkable, that you outgrew a long time ago but you didn’t know you had an option. Examples: a holiday meal with your extended family; a relationship; a habitual response that isn’t serving you well. Under that, write down specific behaviours or feelings you have in response to this unworkable way of being. Do it in bullet points. #### Second Sheet On second piece of paper, at the top, write what you would prefer. Then go point by point from the specifics on the first sheet to what you would prefer, what would work better for you on the second sheet. If what you want is a dream and it’s never going to happen, write it down anyway. Put the two pieces of paper away for a few weeks. When you pull them out again, you’ll see movement toward what you wanted. #### What’s Happening The reason for two sheets of paper is not only to make it easier to match entries point by point. The paper for what you’d prefer is a tabula rasa, full of possibilities. You can think of the space between the old way of being and the desired new way as a [[Liminal Space]]. It’s easy to see how you’re showing up for the old contract (the one on the first page). The new contract is tougher because at this point it’s imaginal. Our emotions are independent of language and right at home in the imaginal space. If you try activities that engage the wordless part of you — art, music, dance — you’ll get right into the emotions which are the basis of your behaviour and that will really change things for you.