Up: [[Accept Reality]] Created: 2023-11-06 Updated: 2024-12-26 I was going to do a separate note about the book with the same title as this heading, but there really isn’t much in the book that I value or agree with. It’s Adler’s view of the world. What does have value to me is remembering to ask myself the question, *Whose task is it?* I’ll know the answer when I answer the question, *Who is going to receive the end result of the choice that is made?* The idea here is that what another person thinks of me is their task, not mine. This is something I struggle with. It’s supposed to get easier as you get older, and most of my friends are indeed saying they are less concerned with what others think of them. I’m improving but still very much a work in progress on this concept. > [!Orbit] [[Oliver Burkeman]] in *Meditations for Mortals* > …the news that somebody is upset because you’re not behaving as they wanted you to behave is just that: a report on the state of their emotional weather. You might or might not choose to act on such a report, but that’s an entirely separate matter. (p.99) Burkeman’s take on this reminds me of the value of learning to be a [[Witness]] to my thoughts and feelings. As I get better at that for myself, I’ll also find it easier to employ that stance with others. And it’s important that I do. To live in integrity means to live by my values. It’s inevitable that there will be others who don’t share those values.