Up: [[Expressive Art]] Created: 2023-08-05 Updated: 2026-01-07 I used to be scornful of inner child work. Frankly, I thought it was nonsense. But I was having a difficult time and, in desperation, I bought a book by one of the earliest, and most acclaimed, people to do this work, Lucia Capacchione. The book is *Recovery of Your Inner Child: The highly acclaimed method for liberating your inner self.* It has a pink cover with a stick figure wearing a hat and holding an ice cream cone. Beside the stick person is a sentence, in a child’s print, that reads, *Let me out so I can be creative and heal you.* There was nothing about that cover, or the many child-like illustrations inside, that was changing my mind about this being New Age hokum. But… desperation. I had the book, might as well try it. The process is simple, and incredibly powerful. It’s powerful because you’re not reading about inner child work. You’re not writing histories of childhood traumas. You’re not even talking about it in a therapy session. With this process you are actually experiencing and reparenting your inner child. Lucia’s book has chapters for various emotions, plus a variety of strategies you can use. But all of the chapters work with the following core process. ### Inner Child Work a la Capacchione 1. In your imagination, go to a place of safety and comfort. Picture your inner child there. 2. With your non-dominant hand, draw a picture of your inner child. Don’t try to plan it or have any expectations as to how it will turn out. If you have access to crayons, use them. Markers are a second choice. 3. Looking at the drawing, write out a conversation using both hands. As the adult, you write with your dominant hand. Your inner child will write or print with your non-dominant hand. As the adult in the conversation, your job is to be a loving and gentle guide for your inner child. You’re there to help. Start by getting to know the child — age, name, interests… ### An Example This process has led to insights every one of the many times I’ve used it. Here’s a simple example from a time when I’d read the chapter about the angry inner child, wasn’t feeling it, and decided to do something else. The dialogue was originally handwritten on paper. The process needs the two-handed approach in order to work. ![[Inner Child Aug 5, 2023.webp|400]] ### Dialogue Me: This is very interesting. I read the Angry Child chapter but didn’t want to invite that part of you in today, not when we are having company and when I’m feeling good, not angry. So I thought I’d see who you are when I am living the Hestia plans I made yesterday. So Hi! It’s nice to meet you. What is your name? *I don’t have one yet.* Okay. How old are you? *I don’t know that either. When I was drawing me I thought 3 or 4, a sturdy toddler. Now I think 8 or 9.* I can see both ages. You had strawberry blonde hair when you were very young. I remember that when you were 8 or 9, you were on an escalator in a Zellers store and a woman thought you were a little boy. I don’t want to offend you again, but are you a boy or a girl? *I’m both.* How are you feeling today? Are you happy? *I don’t know. I’m not UNhappy but I feel like I have to be strong for you and determined. You keep wanting too much from me.* I think it’s because I see Linus from the Peanuts cartoon when I look at your picture. Linus was a little boy but he was so smart and so single-minded about pursuing his music passion that he was an adult even when he was young. I have a Linus magnet. It says, “There’s no heavier burden than a great potential!” Am I burdening you with my Hestia plans? *Yes.* I don’t get it. How? My plans aren’t heavy. They’re just to deliberately pause to ask what would Hestia do, to try more and more to listen to my body and let it guide me. How is that a burden for you? *It’s rules. Good for you, not for me. I don’t want rules or plans. I want to play.* But my plan is to let you play. We’re going to be in the grass in our bare feet. We’re going to make things with clay. We’ll have fun, I promise. *Okay. I’ll try. You’re the boss.* I can see that’s the problem. You sound so sad, so weary. I don’t want to be the boss. I just don’t know yet how to release you, how to hear you. I will keep trying.