Who Am I? Pat Doyle Asks and Answers

Bob at Satisfying Retirement had a post about knowing yourself in your retirement transition  and answering the big question, “Who am I?” Then, my New Moon Ritual in May asked me to identify my public persona and decide if I am satisfied with it. And finally Karen, here at Profound Journey, published lists of not-too-scary, slightly scary and totally terrifying questions to get to know someone better. Many were hard to answer but I tackled some of them – in italics below.

For sure, with these three occurrences, the Universe is asking me…Do I know myself? Who am I?

Know Thyself

What is your favourite quote?

These two words from Socrates don’t qualify as my favourite quote, but they’re good ones!

Self-reflection is a big part of my retirement transition. To be true to myself, I need to really understand who I am (and who I am not) and what I am passionate about or interested in (or not). The self-discovery will continue as life experiences help me refine my answers to the questions – Who am I? Who is the authentic Pat?

It has been said that knowing yourself is a lifelong process as you continue to grow. And so, it will be one aspect of my lifelong journey.

What Fits and What Doesn’t

In retirement transition, I quickly discovered that I am not my job. The fact that I could not clearly define my job, after doing it for 20+ years, should have given me this insight much sooner!

The closest term for my work is Consumer Product Designer. My skill set from this is consumer, business, and technology integration. The pattern-finding, synthesis, and story telling is something I have always loved.

While the full-time work is over, I’ve been doing some part-time consulting for the past three years. I’m not sure I want to continue, but if the right project comes along, I probably will. I really do enjoy the learning and synthesis, the finding structure or framework, and creating the story. So to answer the question, What does being creative mean to you?, my creativity comes from synthesis and finding structure.

Some Things I Value

As part of my retirement transition process, I thought about different stages of my life and what I enjoyed and wished I could do more of. For example, where did I have the most fun (question – When do you feel amazing?) I thought about my bucket lists (foods to eat, places to visit, things to do) and created a Possibilities List of over 150 items!

I answered simple questions like indoors or out? Alone or with people? My answers:

  • Outside. Surprisingly, my best ever vacations were all predominantly outside in nature. I love the challenge of climbing a well-trailed mountain, and the thrill of spotting wildlife. My favourite days are usually ones that include time spent outdoors.
  • With people. While an introvert, I like small gatherings. My favourite evening is one spent having good conversation over good food, and perhaps a glass of wine. (question – When are you most yourself?) Or a walk and talk with a gal-pal. Or time spent with my hubby, doing pretty much anything.
  • When taking the quiz at Five Love Languages, my top scores are in Time Spent, Words, and Touch. I’ve learned that some close friends and family (and hubby) are different, and I value when they give gifts or do things for me as an expression of their love and affection (hubby). (question – What roles do love and affection play in your life?)

Thinking about Purpose and Passion

So much of the retirement transition material talks about finding your life purpose, living your passion, and giving back. (question – What do you consider the most overrated virtue?) This has been a challenge for me.

Many people in retirement find passion in the creative arts. I’ve dabbled in various creative arts, but none have caught my passion. I’m also not a big fan of music, preferring to listen to the breeze and bird song through the open windows. I enjoy live theater but I have no desire to participate.

Many retirees find satisfaction in volunteering and more than one has talked to me about doing this. I joined two philanthropic groups this year, but am finding that helping others doesn’t seem to be fulfilling me.

A few retired friends have taken up photography, but that’s not of deep interest to me  – although I appreciate their great photos on Facebook.

I enjoy time spent working in the garden, but have no desire to become a master gardener like two other retirees I know.

I enjoy breaking a sweat on a walk/hike, but have no desire to run a race or even take up a competitive sport. When I married a runner (his body no longer allows that activity), I jokingly said that my pre-nuptial states that I will not run. Walk, hike, stand up paddleboard, even Zumba…but not run.

Exploring New Possibilities

What are you curious about?

During retirement transition, I’ve learned about mindfulness and healthy aging and have put many new practices into effect.

I’ve enjoyed learning more about psychology and spirituality. I’ve explored cognitive behaviour, adult development, archetypes, and thinking patterns, but have not figured out what to do with all of that.

I had fun thinking through feng shui on our new home, reading about Spirit Guides, and doing a seasonal Tarot card reading. But I’ve not become a strong believer in any of those belief systems.

It Comes Down To…

Who am I? Here’s what I know for sure.

  • I am a planner and a thinker. I have checklists of checklists.
  • Finding the framework in complexity is one of my favourite things to do.
  • I like the mental more than the physical.
  • I can lose myself in writing – my book or my blog.

So what on my possibility list is most intriguing right now?

  • Publishing my book of retirement transition how-to. (question – If you were writing a book, what would it be about?)
  • Exploring birding, planning a cross-country RV trip, and having mini-adventures like stand up paddleboard, Mammoth Cave, and the Ohio State Fair. (question – Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time?)

Yet I am finding it a challenge to activate any of those items.

I Am Keeping

There are many things I’ve added to my life since retirement that I definitely want to keep. My list includes:

  • journaling
  • Zumba
  • yoga
  • foodie friends club
  • walks and talks
  • theater date nights
  • eating healthier
  • blogging
  • craft shows
  • farmers markets

And I Am Grateful

I am grateful for my husband of 26 years who supports me in my quest to answer the question, “Who am I?” He allows me my quirks without complaint.

Blogger Pat Doyle and her mother
Mom and Me

My mom, my second best friend and the woman who has always provided unconditional love, is still in this world. I’m grateful for that.

I am grateful for our solid financial security, gained through a lot of delayed gratification and hard work. Also some good life choices and luck.

Never having felt that I was a good friend to others, I am grateful for my solid contingent of friends.

I am grateful for reasonably good health, a strong medical community, and solid health care support from my company, which has allowed me to face cancer with optimism, resilience and success.

And I am grateful for this time of life where I can figure out who I really am, away from societal expectations and the need to compare and compete.

Who Am I?

What is my public persona? I am:

  • a recovering workaholic who adores finding the framework (the structure) and learning how to live life, not work.
  • an active person, leading a healthy lifestyle, experiencing things, enjoying daily life, and savoring the moments.
  • learning to live my word of the year every single day. My word is SOAR – Savoring, Optimism, Activating, Resilient.

And I sincerely hope that I can be an inspiration to others by living this way.

And My Favourite Quote?

It’s a tie:

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I —
I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost


“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw

From Karen

I wrote a post a while ago asking the question, “Can someone you’ve never met really be your friend?”  If I’d thought about Pat, I wouldn’t have needed to write the post. Pat is not only an online friend, but I often teasingly refer to her as my twin. In archetype language she is a sage and also a seeker – two irresistible qualities that show up in her comments and in the posts on her site Retirement Transition. If you haven’t checked it out, please do. But before you go, please let us know in the comments below – Are you engaged in the quest of answering the question, “Who am I?” What has Pat said that has resonated for you? 

Join the tribe:


  1. I think Who am I? is a neverending question. After almost 6 years of retirement I’m 90% sure of who the new me is, but that 10% needs constant reassessment. I wish I could have been this me all along but I guess it took 60 years work to get here!

    1. Anabel, The me I am today is different than the me I was when working… and I expect the me I am in 5 years will be different again. So I agree, constant reassessment! And I like the me I am today, too. Which I guess is a good thing. Pat

    2. I love that we’re all works in progress yet simultaneously quite happy with where we are in life right now. I can’t imagine it getting better than that!

    1. Thanks Beth. This was a hard one to write… but it also helped crystallize some things. Maybe that’s part of Karen’s plan with her scary questions! Helping us all to grow. Pat

  2. Hi Pat and Karen – another great set of questions and answers – I love how everyone tackles it in their own unique way. I think my favourite part was what you’re grateful for – it’s always wonderful to stop and appreciate how blessed we are – and to see your husband and mum top the list was lovely.

    1. Leanne, They both aways do! I added the picture with my mum, cause I think she’ll get a kick out of it. (And finding a picture where I do not have sunglasses and a hat on was super hard). I try and appreciate how blessed I am (for many things) on a regular basis…it helps me get through the not-so-great moments of life.

    2. I agree, Leanne. What you’re grateful for was a terrific list, Pat. I also loved your list of “here’s what I’ve started since retirement that I want to keep doing.” I was walking and talking with a friend this morning and we’ve agreed that we need to write similar lists, plus a list of what we want to stop doing.

        1. I sure do, Pat. Cindy Ricksgers is doing a 52 week lists for happiness project. – https://cindyricksgers.wordpress.com/2018/06/17/the-52-lists-for-happiness-project-25/

          I checked it out and the project is based on a book by Moorea Seal. The list of lists (sounds confusing) is the table of contents of the book. There are so many great ones, like “List the things in your life you are actually able to control” and “List the things about yourself that you don’t need to change.” I’m going to start making the lists she mentions, even if I don’t end up sharing them. You game?

  3. Very nice, Pat and Karen. I love how you’ve come to who you are aside from work or parenting or all the other things the Younger Us uses to define ourselves.Me, I am settled on who I am, no longer interested in delving into it!

    1. Jacqui, I think I am settling into the new me as well. It feels a bit weird since I’ve spent the last 3 years figuring her out, but I am happy with where I am now. Now it’s time to be.

    2. I love the quest so, while I want to be good with where I’m at, I also want to keep growing. It makes things tricky. I love E.B. White’s quote about this very thing – “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

  4. Hi Pat! So great to learn more about you and what “drives” you from within. I knew from some of your comments here and on my blog that you and I share a lot in common. Yes to being a planner! I deeply appreciate those of us who beat to that drum. I’ve never been a workaholic though, but I do appreciate finding patterns in complexity. Something about that intrigues me. And I appreciate your openminded willingness to explore all sorts of things. I believe that is connected to an ongoing curiousity that not everyone has. Oh, and I love both of your favorite quotes, they are close runner-ups to mine. But most of all, I appreciate your focus on self-awareness. I have always believed that the best “journey” in life is not a destination, it’s the journey toward becoming our true self! ~Kathy

    1. Oh Kathy… “life is the journey to become our true self” might just be my new favorite quote! I am trying these days to live everyday as the person I’ve decided I want to be.

      Also, while I’ve never thought of myself as having an ongoing curiosity, I’ll accept your assessment of that! My curiosity is often targeted, but yes, it’s there. Thanks for that new awareness. Pat

  5. This was a great read, Pat. I could identify with so much of it. This really is a journey and we are constantly changing with the landscape around us.

    I too was frustrated by all the retirement material that suggested we needed to “find our passion” and “live our true self”. WTH does that even mean? Maybe it’s meaningful to someone whose life circumstances left them unable to explore some of the things that interested them before retirement … but what about those of us who did? … and we still don’t have a ‘burning passion’?

    You, Karen, and I have had this conversation before about being seekers. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t searching for my passion. My passion WAS searching … or to put it another way, I’m excited by ‘the thrill of the hunt’.

    I don’t think there is good material out there to help seekers. What does exist does us a disservice. How many seekers feel fundamentally flawed because of this ‘find your passion’ rhetoric? I know I did. I wish someone had had this conversation with me in my teens. I wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying to ‘find myself’. I’ve been me all along.

    Sorry if this sounds a bit like a rant. It’s not intended to be. This was a great post, and like all your posts, it made me think.

    1. I think you’re absolutely right Joanne, that there aren’t a lot of resources to help seekers. I wonder if it’s because we live in a world where destinations are more important than journeys. We seem to need a belief that it’s possible to arrive somewhere and be contented there forevermore, even when we know that’s a fiction.

      1. I wrote a reply to this comment, and now I see that it’s not here. Nor can I remember what pithy comment I may have made 😏

        You make a good point about the world seeing destinations rather than journeys. So much material pays lip service to the journey, but there really is an implied promise that it will deliver an arrival at a happy forevermore. We seekers know that’s not true 🙂

    2. I totally get the challenge of “find your purpose/passion or you’ll be unhappy and die early”! I’ve yet to be able to say this is my purpose/passion… but I’m coming to terms with being OK with just living an active, healthy lifestyle.

      I did finally find one reference which indicated that “seeker” was one of the normal possibilities of retirement… Nancy Schlossberg in 2012. I’ve read articles referencing her work.. Searcher, Adventurer, Continuer, Easy Glider, Involved Spectator, and Retreater were the 6 most common… and you could be a combination or switch from one to the other. Searchers were constantly looking for what’s next, venturing into new paths. If you haven’t looked at her work, you might find it helpful.

  6. Hi Pat & Karen, I thoroughly enjoyed reading more about you Pat and we have so much in common. I am a recovering workaholic too and found it so difficult to adjust to retirement. I am still trying to find ‘who I am’ and also ‘how I see my life’. Like you I’m trying new things and discarding what I don’t enjoy. I am a list girl as well and work better this way. Such a sense of satisfaction crossing items off the list. I love running but also yoga and walking. I so wish we lived near each other but am very grateful for the connection we have made through our blogs. Enjoy and thanks Karen for another interesting guest. I do love getting to know my ‘virtual friends’ a little more.
    Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond xx

    1. Hi Sue, I think it’s wonderful that you are still seeking. To me, it’s that quest for our authentic selves that binds so many of us together in this amazing online community. How reassuring it is to know that we are not alone.

      1. Hi Karen, this year I have connected with some new bloggers – women who share the same thoughts and philosophies about life as I do. I’m loving my ‘tribe’ as you call it and what I particularly am grateful for is the learning that I am receiving from all of my new friends – with you at the top. Everyone brings me new ideas and wisdom – that is priceless!

        1. Hey Sue, I am also so excited to be connecting with like-minded women (and a few men) all over the world. And finding out we have similar ways of dealing with things. I’ve been known to put something on a list only to then immediately check it off!

          I hit my 4 year anniversary of retirement this summer and I think for the first time I’m feeling like I’m living everyday… not just trying to figure out what to do if I’m not working. I still have days that are tough, but most days now are good. I wonder if my dealing with cancer finally shifted my thinking and allowed me to accept myself…. a woman who is trying to be active, and live more healthy…but hasn’t found any “passion” or new career. So many folks expected me to continue consulting in my same area or start a second career! Just living day to day, going to yoga or taking a walk with a friend, reading, cooking, blogging…I find that sometimes I still feel it’s not “enough”. But then I read my blogger friends posts and think…. yeah, it is. It’s living.

          1. I’ve just passed the three year mark for retirement, Pat. I’m relieved to hear that it took you four years to get to your current spot. There’s hope for me yet! 🙂

            1. Hi Karen, I’m still a WIP and it has been 4 years for me but I’m sure I will find my way and I’m learning so much as I continue on my path of retirement. 🙂

          2. Hi Pat, I’ve hit the 4 year mark as well, although I have to admit some days I still feel like I’m marking time and not really sure what I want to do with the rest of my life. We are all different, although we may also have many interests or traits in common. Each of us has to find our own path. I lost my Mum (63), Dad (66), Brother (65) all to cancer so as I approached 60 last year I have to admit that the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I might not have as many years left as I thought. I enjoy life and like you I sometimes feel that there should be more to my life and then other days I’m just grateful to have the life that I do. I have recently welcomed a new grandson into our family and he is so adorable. I get so much joy from my grandchildren and my grandson Ethan who is 4 years old has taught me to live in the moment and just breathe. I’m so pleased to have connected with you and Karen and wish you both a beautiful and enjoying weekend. xx

            1. Sue,
              I understand those fears. My dad had his first heart attack at age 57 and my hubby had his first heart issue at that age as well. Then, the scarier one was my husband losing his “Irish twin” last year. Then my recent cancer has really …as you say..make me wonder how much time I have left and we have left. So yes, most days I’m just grateful to have the life I do, which is pretty good!
              Unfortunately, no kids or grandkids to teach me to live in the moment….but I made a sand castle today at the beach with my hubby… and 2 kids came over to join us! What a hoot! (Although I’m a bit pinker this evening than I should be.)

  7. I love the way your mind works, Pat. I also am very analytical and love to plan (“finding the framework in complexity” – I love that), but, you know what? Sometimes I’m not at all analytical and my plans are not so well laid out. I guess I’m a work in progress like we all are (can you imagine feeling like you were fully formed and no further adjustments were necessary?).

    You and I have both come up against the “find a passion” mantra that so many retirement how-to guides have – with much confidence and authority – declare to be the key to retirement and, at first anyway, felt somehow ill-prepared because we didn’t have one. I have a few, what I have called passionettes, and I’m OK with that. I know that you feel the same and you’ve listed some really nice ones that you enjoy.

    You have much to be grateful for and also much to be proud of (don’t forget that part) as you’ve made the transition from a workaholic (something I never was) to a happy and fulfilled retiree.

    1. What a lovely and supportive comment, Janis. Speaking of complexity, it looks to me as if you are finding “the simplicity that’s on the other side of complexity.” That requires life experience and an analytical mind, and it’s quite the gift.

    2. Janis, I’m totally analytical. And a massive planner. Allowing things to just happen has in the past totally stressed me out. I’m learning to be a bit more take it as it comes these days. Our visit to Florida this time is more that way and I’m surviving it! (most of my IRL friends down here are actually traveling themselves… so no-one to plan anything with.)

      Your philosophy on passion-ettes is one that finally helped me get past all the rhetoric of “find your passion”… and one I try and recall whenever I hear the mantra, which is pervasive. Thank you for that!

  8. It sure looks to me that you have mostly figured out the answer to this question, Pat. You surely know what you want and what you don’t want, and what you have achieved and are grateful for. What a complete circle.

    Lots of what you write resonates with me, especially the part of prefering silence (or the sounds of nature) above music, and enjoying the being in nature itself as well. You seem to enjoy many activities, yet don’t excel or are willing to become more than an amateur in any of them. Sounds like me. Enjoying a bit of everything, but lacking the interest to single out one thing.

    I know who I am, yet I will keep growing and improving that knowledge. 🙂

    1. Leisbet, Thanks for the idea that it’s a complete circle. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I do think however, that I will continue to change as I move forward in life, so hopefully its not a final circle!

      And yes, I am finding it fun to be involved in a few different things and yet, not needing to become an expert in them. Vey different than the “old me” who was an expert in what I did! One of my affirmations the past few years was “I am OK with being a beginner”. I continue to use that as I explore new things!

  9. Hi Liesbet, I love the idea of continuing to improve the knowledge of who you are. It sounds like a process that a Consumer Product Designer would really understand 🙂

  10. Very interesting. Thank you for articulating this quest. We are always being who we are and along the way we add and discard. I feel that it is not that we are aiming for anyway -there isn’t a perfect me out there it is always within.I am the quest seeking to know more and more of me of you of life. Like you Pat I dabble here and there .This is the passion – us in love with life . Pleased to meet you.

    1. I like that image of adding and discarding from our true selves. I love the idea that there is a permanent core with just the accoutrements, the embellishments changing at different times in our lives. As always, you are a wonder woman with the evocative images.

    2. Sandra, Wow…. My passion is I am in love with life. I told many people that I knew how to work, but I didn’t know how to live… and so that was what I needed to figure out in retirement… how to live. I never took that to be my passion. Thank you for that insight!

      And nice to meet you too!

  11. I enjoyed reading this post and learned more about you, Pat. You certainly put your analytical mind to work. Now it’s time to enjoy doing what you want to do. Thanks, Karen, for another interesting guest. Happy 1st day of summer!

    1. I hope your first day of summer was an awesome one, Natalie, a great harbinger of all of the months to come.
      You’re a woman who seems to easily embrace doing what you want to do. Was that ever difficult for you, or did you take to it easily?

    2. Natalie – I had to laugh about the analytical component being obvious. I think there are parts of us that will never change… and that is one of mine! Happy first day of summer to you as well.

  12. Hi Karen and Pat,
    I just love the authentic voices I find here. My default is often to begin with the process of elimination, so my “who am I” might start as “who am I not?” And the act of seeking truth from self or others fascinates me. Life is so fluid that some of our questions never really get answered, and we have to find a way to be okay with that!

    1. Hi Jenny,
      You’re one of those authentic voices. I’m really glad that we found each other’s blogs through A-Z.
      Starting with Who am I not? makes good sense. A friend and I had just agreed to write some stop doing lists which would fit well with your who am I not.

    2. Jenny,
      I did some of that… Who Am I Not… as I compared myself to many other retirees, both online and IRL. It was a hard path. It was Bob’s post (referenced above) and Karen’s questions and trying to write this post that really helped me solidify who I was. I might not have been ready for it a few months ago, but I’m glad I pulled all my “self-discovery” elements together and wrote the post. It helped me feel good about where I am right now in life. And yes, I might try Karen’s “stop doing” list!

  13. Hello Pat & Karen — enjoyed reading your post. While I’m not yet retired, I’ve transitioned to a much freer schedule with self-employment. Given the number of transitions in my life, I have never stopped asking “Who Am I?” I remember way back in 1981 – at 18 – I gave a talk titled, “Who Am I? Where Am I Going?” and spoke with great confidence. With age — and hopefully wisdom — if I were to give such a talk, I would find the framework you’ve used helpful because I realize that such a question is neither simple nor direct.
    p.s. Karen — I saw the link to the blog on your labyrinth and am jealous. I’ve often thought how nice it would be to have a labyrinth in my yard. Love mindful walking…

    1. Janet, I’ve had relatively few major transitions in life. I worked for the same company for 32 years, married to the same guy for 26 years….so this transition from work to non-work was huge for me. I defined myself by my work.

      The article I recall writing at age 22 for my college newsletter was… “I didn’t think I’d be a Trail Blazer”. I was surprised at the lack of women role models and the sexual harassment (overt and subtle) I had to deal with in my first job. Yeah, I think I had more confidence in who I was back then!

  14. Hello Pat and Karen,

    You ARE an inspiration, Pat!
    Like you I am an introvert who likes small gatherings, loves being outdoors and am asking myself (a lifelong quest, started in childhood!): who am I?
    So, I’m happy to get to you and “meet” yet another member of the tribe.
    I look to yourself and others as I plan for my own retirement, still a ways off.
    Thanks for another great post, guys!


    1. Deb,
      I wish I had linked into this tribe before… but I know as a workaholic, I didn’t have the mental space to do it. I have a few IRL friends who are a few years younger than me (a few years from retirement) and reading my stuff so they have a head-start of the transition. They saw how hard it was for me. I think they will slide into retirement so much easier than I did! You probably will as well and we’ll all “hate you” just a little for that!

  15. Thank you Karen and Pat. I really enjoyed reading this post. As I approach retirement, I am definitely redefining who I am. At the same time, I am trying not to over-analyze everything and just allow myself to be. Pat’s description of what she values in terms of being outdoors and with small groups of friends resonated with me in that I feel the same way. I also connected with the idea that there are many things she likes doing and experimenting with, but they don’t necessarily rise to the level of passion or purpose. Another way that Pat and I are very much alike. I hope you both have a lovely weekend.

    1. It’s a challenging tightrope to walk sometimes – engaged in redefinition, while at the same time trying not to over-analyze. I find that I flip between the two with some regularity, although I spend more time in the over-analyzing camp – sigh.
      I hope you have a great weekend too, Christie.

    2. Christie,
      I’m an over analyzer. I admit it. (and a second guesser, and a worst case scenario thinker…. but that’s another story.)

      I had to laugh at how many folks have commented about also liking being outdoors. I had a good friend (still working) who texted me…”I hate the outdoors, can we stay friends?” (Of course I said yes…did you doubt that?)

      Have a great weekend.

      1. It’s hard for me to imagine not loving the outdoors, but I do get not liking all the critters (mosquitos, snakes, that sort of thing). I’m glad you’re open minded enough to remain friends though. 🙂

  16. Hi Pat,
    Thanks for sharing your tribe story with us. It was great getting to know you a little bit more. I have done a lot of self-reflection but nothing has quite crystalized for me yet. I like the outdoors if it is the country we are talking about 😉 and bare feet are the best! I took that 5 Love Languages test too and my top scores were equal for Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. I think I will be asking hubby to take the test too…interested in his scores although I think I know which way it will go. We are heading for our 14th wedding anniversary this summer. I am self-employed running my YouTube channel so I do and I don’t relate the retirement part of things here on Profound Journey. I make lots of checklists too – I find organizing what I have to do by writing it done and crossing it off gives me a great sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. I too like writing (and reading, let’s not forget that). Your two words Know Thyself at the start really resonated with me. I do think, like other people commenting, that knowing yourself is a lifelong journey since we are constantly evolving as we experience different things, but I am happy to keep finding out more about who I am as time goes on,

    Hi Karen,
    Sorry for the late reply to this post, been crazy busy in the Millard household once again but after reading Pat’s Tribe Story I had to sit down at the keyboard and write a comment. I think it is absolutely fabulous that your site is coming alive with more tribe stories and the comment sections are getting longer and longer – I love this community! Thank you for posting Pat’s Tribe Story – it is so neat reading these and finding out where we are the same and where we differ with fellow tribe members.

  17. Hi Susan,
    I love this community too and appreciate everyone’s comments, or reads if they don’t feel like commenting. And by the way, it’s never either late or too late to leave a reply. We’re always interested in what you think!
    So… do you predict that hubby’s love languages are going to be different from or similar to yours? I did it the test too – there’s a version for single people – and my top one by far was Acts of Service. Not surprising given that I’m single 🙂

  18. Karen, I am glad that it is never to late to leave a comment, because, as you might have noticed, my comments often are way after the fact!

    Pat, I read your blog post with interest. Like you, I really struggled with defining myself apart from my work identity as I began the transition to retirement. Also, people close to me have told me that I was a workaholic, although I always rejected that descriptor when I was busy being a workaholic! Like you, I don’t have “a” passion in retirement (or “a” pupose). Rather, I have decided to consider my life as one with multiple overlapping and shifting themes.

    Thanks for the interesting self-analysis on Karen’s blog.


    1. Hi Jude,
      It is NEVER too late. Thank you for taking the time to read these posts and leave a comment.
      I’m caught by your reference to your life as one of “multiple overlapping and shifting themes.” Someday I’d love to read more about that, either on your blog or in a tribe story for mine – if you’re so inclined.
      In the meantime, it sounds as if retirement life continues to be treating you very well. Terrific news 🙂

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